But I have a superstitious horror of seeing
her again, while believing that the day will come when I shall do
so. When this occurs,--when I look up and find her in my path, I
shall know that my sin has found me out and that the end is near.
1909
O shade of Algernon Etheridge, unforgetting and unforgiving! The
woman has appeared! She stood in this room to-day. Verily, years
are nothing with God.
Added later.
I thought I knew what awaited me if my hour ever came. But who can
understand the ways of Providence or where the finger of
retributive Justice will point. It is Oliver's name and not mine
which has become the sport of calumny. Oliver's! Could the irony
of life go further! OLIVER'S!
There is nothing against him, and such folly must soon die out;
but to see doubt in Mrs. Scoville's eyes is horrible in itself and
to eliminate it I may have to show her Oliver's account of that
long-forgotten night of crime in Spencer's Folly. It is naively
written and reveals a clean, if reticent, nature; but that its
effect may be unquestionable I will insert a few lines to cover
any possible misinterpretation of his manner or conduct. There is
an open space, and our handwritings were always strangely alike.
Only our e's differed, and I will be careful with the e's.
HER confidence must be restored at all hazards.
My last foolish attempt has undone me. Nothing remains now but
that sacrifice of self which should have been made twelve years
ago.
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