It is no wonder then, that, like the Hermit of Parnell,
"I broke the bands of fear, and madly cried,
'You careless jade!'--But scarce the words began,
When Betty brandish'd high her saucing-pan."
"Beware," she said, "you do not, by your ill-timed anger, cut off the
opportunity I yet have to indemnify the world for the errors of my
ignorance. In yonder coal-hole, not used for many a year, repose the
few greasy and blackened fragments of the elder Drama which were not
totally destroyed. Do thou then"--Why, what do you stare at, Captain?
By my soul, it is true; as my friend Major Longbow says, "What should
I tell you a lie for?"
_Captain._ Lie, sir! Nay, Heaven forbid I should apply the word to a
person so veracious. You are only inclined to chase your tail a little
this morning, that's all. Had you not better reserve this legend to
form an introduction to "Three Recovered Dramas," or so?
_Author._ You are quite right--habit's a strange thing, my son. I had
forgot whom I was speaking to. Yes, Plays for the closet, not for the
stage--
_Captain._ Right, and so you are sure to be acted; for the managers,
while thousands of volunteers are desirous of serving them, are
wonderfully partial to pressed men.
_Author._ I am a living witness, having been, like a second Laberius,
made a dramatist whether I would or not. I believe my muse would be
_Terry_-fied into treading the stage, even if I should write a sermon.
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