When thoughts of an offended heaven,
Of sinfulness, which I--even I,
While down its steep most headlong driven--
Well knew could never be forgiven,
Came o'er me with an agony
Beyond all reach of mortal woe--
A torture kept for those who know.
Know _every_ thing, and--worst of all--
Know and love Virtue while they fall!
Even then her presence had the power
To soothe, to warm--nay, even to bless--
If ever bliss could graft its flower
On stem so full of bitterness--
Even then her glorious smile to me
Brought warmth and radiance if not balm;
Like moonlight o'er a troubled sea.
Brightening the storm it cannot calm.
Oft too when that disheartening fear,
Which all who love, beneath yon sky,
Feel when they gaze on what is dear--
The dreadful thought that it must die!
That desolating thought which comes
Into men's happiest hours and homes;
Whose melancholy boding flings
Death's shadow o'er the brightest things,
Sicklies the infant's bloom and spreads
The grave beneath young lovers' heads!
This fear, so sad to all--to me
Most full of sadness from the thought
That I most still live on,[14] when she
Would, like the snow that on the sea
Fell yesterday, in vain be sought;
That heaven to me this final seal
Of all earth's sorrow would deny,
And I eternally must feel
The death-pang without power to die!
Even this, her fond endearments--fond
As ever cherisht the sweet bond
'Twixt heart and heart--could charm away;
Before her looks no clouds would stay,
Or if they did their gloom was gone,
Their darkness put a glory on!
But 'tis not, 'tis not for the wrong,
The guilty, to be happy long;
And she too now had sunk within
The shadow of her tempter's sin,
Too deep for even Omnipotence
To snatch the fated victim thence!
Listen and if a tear there be
Left in your hearts weep it for me.
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