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Moore, Thomas, 1779-1852

"The Complete Poems of Sir Thomas Moore Collected by Himself with Explanatory Notes"


In taking my leave now, I've only to say,
A few _Seats in the House_, not as yet sold away,
May be had of the Manager, Pat Castlereagh.

[1] Lord Castlereagh.
[2] He had recently been appointed Chancellor of the Exchequer.



THE SALE OF THE TOOLS.

_Instrumenta regni_.--TACITUS.

Here's a choice set of Tools for you, Ge'mmen and Ladies,
They'll fit you quite handy, whatever your trade is;
(Except it be _Cabinet-making_;--no doubt,
In that delicate service they're rather worn out;
Tho' their owner, bright youth! if he'd had his own will,
Would have bungled away with them joyously still.)
You see they've been pretty well _hackt_--and alack!
What tool is there job after job will not hack?
Their edge is but dullish it must be confest,
And their temper, like Ellenborough's, none of the best;
But you'll find them good hardworking Tools, upon trying,
Were't but for their _brass_ they are well worth the buying;
They're famous for making _blinds_, _sliders_, and _screens_,
And are some of them excellent _turning_ machines.
The first Tool I'll put up (they call it a _Chancellor_),
Heavy concern to both purchaser _and_ seller.
Tho' made of pig iron yet worthy of note 'tis,
'Tis ready to _melt_ at a half minute's notice.[1]
Who bids? Gentle buyer! 'twill turn as thou shapest;
'Twill make a good thumb-screw to torture a Papist;
Or else a cramp-iron to stick in the wall
Of some church that old women are fearful will fall;
Or better, perhaps, (for I'm guessing at random,)
A heavy _drag-chain_ for some Lawyer's old _Tandem_.


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