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Moore, Thomas, 1779-1852

"The Complete Poems of Sir Thomas Moore Collected by Himself with Explanatory Notes"


What was the cut legitimate
Of these great persons' chins and noses,
By right of which they ruled the state,
No history I have seen discloses.
But so it was--a settled case--
Some Act of Parliament, past snugly,
Had voted _them_ a beauteous race,
And all their faithful subjects ugly.
As rank indeed stood high or low,
Some change it made in visual organs;
Your Peers were decent--Knights, so so--
But all your _common_ people, gorgons!
Of course, if any knave but hinted
That the King's nose was turned awry,
Or that the Queen (God bless her!) squinted--
The judges doomed that knave to die.
But rarely things like this occurred,
The people to their King were duteous,
And took it, on his Royal word,
That they were frights and He was beauteous.
The cause whereof, among all classes,
Was simply this--these island elves
Had never yet seen looking-glasses,
And therefore did not _know themselves_.
Sometimes indeed their neighbors' faces
Might strike them as more full of reason,
More fresh than those in certain places--
But, Lord, the very thought was treason!
Besides, howe'er we love our neighbor,
And take his face's part, 'tis known
We ne'er so much in earnest labor,
As when the face attackt's our own.
So on they went--the crowd believing--
(As crowds well governed always do)
Their rulers, too, themselves deceiving--
So old the joke, they thought 'twas true.


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