Wherefore it was they humbly prayed
That Honorable Nursery,
That such reforms be henceforth made,
As all good men desired to see;--
In other words (lest they might seem
Too tedious), as the gentlest scheme
For putting all such pranks to rest,
And in its bud the mischief nipping--
They ventured humbly to suggest
His Majesty should have a whipping!
When this was read, no Congreve rocket,
Discharged into the Gallic trenches
E'er equalled the tremendous shock it
Produced upon the Nursery benches.
The Bishops, who of course had votes,
By right of age and petticoats,
Were first and foremost in the fuss--
"What, whip a Lama! suffer birch
"To touch his sacred--infamous!
"Deistical!--assailing thus
"The fundamentals of the Church!--
"No--no--such patriot plans as these,
"(So help them Heaven--and their Sees!)
"They held to be rank blasphemies."
The alarm thus given, by these and other
Grave ladies of the Nursery side,
Spread thro' the land, till, such a pother,
Such party squabbles, far and wide,
Never in history's page had been
Recorded, as were then between
The Whippers and Non-whippers seen.
Till, things arriving at a state,
Which gave some fears of revolution,
The patriot lords' advice, tho' late,
Was put at last in execution.
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