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Moore, Thomas, 1779-1852

"The Complete Poems of Sir Thomas Moore Collected by Himself with Explanatory Notes"

Mortimer O'Fudge_--
The "O" being kept, that all may see
We're _both_ of ancient family.
Such, friend, nor need the fact amaze you,
My public life's a calm Euthanasia.
Thus bid I long farewell to all
The freaks of Exeter's old Hall--
Freaks, in grimace, its apes exceeding,
And rivalling its bears in breeding.
Farewell, the platform filled with preachers--
The prayer given out, as grace, by speechers,
Ere they cut up their fellow-creatures:--
Farewell to dead old Dens's volumes,
And, scarce less dead, old _Standard's_ columns:--
From each and all I now retire,
My task, henceforth, as spouse and sire,
To bring up little filial Fudges,
To be M.P.s, and Peers, and Judges--
_Parsons_ I'd add too, if alas!
There yet were hope the Church could pass
The gulf now oped for hers and her,
Or long survive what _Exeter_--
Both Hall and Bishop, of that name--
Have done to sink her reverend fame.
Adieu, dear friend--you'll oft hear _from_ me,
Now I'm no more a travelling drudge;
Meanwhile I sign (that you may judge
How well the surname will become me)
Yours truly,
MORTIMER O'FUDGE.

[1] "Among other amiable enactments against the Catholics at this period
(1649), the price of five pounds was set on the head of a Romish
priest--being exactly the same sum offered by the same legislators for the
head of a wolf.


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