So I had to laugh, and
was cured again.
The year has at least begun well.
Adieu, my sweetest. Things are often not so bad as we imagine. With
this truism I take my leave of you.
Your EMILIA.
I think I forgot to send a New Year's wish to Mrs. Rayner. For you,
my love, again all the good that this world holds. May it rain upon
you in ceaseless showers!
LETTER XXIV.
GRAYSMILL, January 15th.
I have grown unutterably selfish. I only remembered this morning
that you had asked me to send you those books. To think that a day
should have come when I could forget to do something you had asked
me! I have seen to it, with much penitence. Forgive me!
Your Emilia is a miserable specimen; she despises herself very much.
I go up and down all day like something that has lost its balance,
neither have I any. One hour I am absolutely happy; the next I am
biting the dust. One day I say to myself, I will never walk or talk
or read or sit alone with him again,--and perhaps for that one day I
keep my word. But then, the next, I do all I meant not to do, I pine
for it till I bring it about.
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