I shall go to the
Cottage to-morrow afternoon, and tell them. I shall tell the others
tonight, and on Monday I shall leave Graysmill forever. If you think
you cannot reach Florence by Wednesday or Thursday, never mind, you
will join me as soon as you can; only send me a telegram. I can go
and stay with Marianna until you come.
I can bear it no longer! The world holds but one thought; the day
and the night are lost in the constant reiteration of every word he
ever said to me, in the resuscitation of every glance, every touch.
And, poring over these in my memory, I try to read between the lines
the words that are not there, to read "I love you."
Oh, I am very weak, yet, believe me, it is all against my will. I
have fought this folly, I despise myself utterly, and yet now I am
swept away by the flood, I can struggle no more. I shall die of
this, or run mad.
I met him out to-day. We had not arranged to meet; but, as I went
out at the blue door, there he stood. We went a little way together;
then I left him; it was unbearable. It was so beautiful once to be
with him, when we could talk freely of all that is best and noblest
in life.
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