But I begin to see it already in a
less desponding light; and by to-morrow I dare say I shall be cheerful
over it. One blessed thing--children, I say advisedly, a 'blessed'
thing--the worry will be over."
Charley lifted his head. "The worry, papa?"
"Ay, my boy. The agitation--the perpetual excitement--the sickening
suspense--the yearning for the end. You cannot understand this,
Charley; you can none of you picture it, as it has been, for me. Could
I have gone abroad, as other men, it would have shaken itself off
amidst the bustle of the world, and have pressed upon me only at odd
times and seasons. But here have I lain; suspense my constant
companion. It was not right, to allow the anxiety so to work upon me:
but I could not help it; I really could not."
"We shall manage to do without it, papa," said Arthur.
"Yes; after a bit, we shall manage very well. The worst is, we are
behindhand in our payments; for you know how surely I counted upon
this. It ought to have been mine; it was mine by full right of justice,
though it now seems that the law was against me. It is a great
affliction; but it is one of those which may be borne with an open
brow."
"What do you mean, papa?"
"Afflictions are of two kinds. The one we bring upon ourselves, through
our own misconduct; the other is laid upon us by God for our own
advantage. Yes, my boys, we receive many blessings in disguise. Trouble
of this sort will only serve to draw out your manly energies, to make
you engage vigorously in the business of life, to strengthen your
self-dependence and your trust in God.
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