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Saki, 1870-1916

"The Toys of Peace, and other papers"

It was
the shock of being patronisingly addressed as 'my good woman' by a
curate, who was disputing with her where the stove should be placed in a
parish concert hall that led to the sudden restoration of her memory. 'I
think you forget who you are speaking to,' she observed crushingly, which
was rather unduly severe, considering she had only just remembered it
herself."
"But," exclaimed the Journalist, "the Lofoden Island people! Who had
they got hold of?"
"A purely mythical prisoner. It was an attempt in the first place by
some one who knew something of the domestic situation, probably a
discharged valet, to bluff a lump sum out of Edward Umberleigh before the
missing woman turned up; the subsequent yearly instalments were an
unlooked-for increment to the original haul.
"Crispina found that the eight years' interregnum had materially weakened
her ascendancy over her now grown-up offspring. Her husband, however,
never accomplished anything great in the political world after her
return; the strain of trying to account satisfactorily for an unspecified
expenditure of sixteen thousand pounds spread over eight years
sufficiently occupied his mental energies.


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