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Saki, 1870-1916

"The Toys of Peace, and other papers"

' Now if, when
we had gone, people still associated our names with the magnolia tree, no
matter who temporarily possessed it, if they said, 'Ah, that's the tree
on which the Gurtleberrys hung their cook because she sent up the wrong
kind of sauce with the asparagus,' that would be something really due to
our own initiative, apart from anything east winds or magnolia vitality
might have to say in the matter."
"We should never do such a thing," said the aunt.
The niece gave a reluctant sigh.
"I can't imagine it," she admitted. "Of course," she continued, "there
are heaps of ways of leading a real existence without committing
sensational deeds of violence. It's the dreadful little everyday acts of
pretended importance that give the Mappin stamp to our life. It would be
entertaining, if it wasn't so pathetically tragic, to hear Uncle James
fuss in here in the morning and announce, 'I must just go down into the
town and find out what the men there are saying about Mexico. Matters
are beginning to look serious there.' Then he patters away into the
town, and talks in a highly serious voice to the tobacconist,
incidentally buying an ounce of tobacco; perhaps he meets one or two
others of the world's thinkers and talks to them in a highly serious
voice, then he patters back here and announces with increased importance,
'I've just been talking to some men in the town about the condition of
affairs in Mexico.


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