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Saki, 1870-1916

"The Toys of Peace, and other papers"


We can't lock them all up; he's sure to want to see them."
"We must keep a sharp look-out, that's all," said Peter reassuringly.
"But these practised kleptomaniacs are so clever," said his wife,
apprehensively, "and it will be so awkward if he suspects that we are
watching him."
Awkwardness was indeed the prevailing note that evening when the passing
traveller was being entertained. The talk flitted nervously and
hurriedly from one impersonal topic to another. The guest had none of
the furtive, half-apologetic air that his cousins had rather expected to
find; he was polite, well-assured, and, perhaps, just a little inclined
to "put on side". His hosts, on the other hand, wore an uneasy manner
that might have been the hallmark of conscious depravity. In the drawing-
room, after dinner, their nervousness and awkwardness increased.
"Oh, we haven't shown you the silver-wedding presents," said Mrs. Peter,
suddenly, as though struck by a brilliant idea for entertaining the
guest; "here they all are. Such nice, useful gifts. A few duplicates,
of course."
"Seven cream jugs," put in Peter.
"Yes, isn't it annoying," went on Mrs. Peter; "seven of them.


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