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Surtees, Robert Smith, 1803-1864

"Mr. Sponge's Sporting Tour"

A round of beef, a ham, a tongue, and is that a
goose or a turkey?'
'A turkey, my lord,' replied Springwheat; 'home-fed, my lord.'
'Ah, home-fed, indeed!' ejaculated his lordship, with a shake of the head:
'home-fed: wish I could feed at home. The man who said that
E'en from the peasant to the lord,
The turkey smokes on every board,
told a big un, for I'm sure none ever smokes on mine.'
'Take a little here to-day, then,' observed Mr. Springwheat, cutting deep
into the white breast.
'I will,' replied his lordship, 'I will: and a slice of tongue, too,' added
he.
'There are some hot sausingers comin',' observed Mr. Springwheat.
'You _don't_ say so,' replied his lordship, apparently thunderstruck at the
announcement. 'Well, I must have all three. By Jove, Jack!' said he,
appealing to his friend, 'but you've lit on your legs coming here. Here's a
breakfast fit to set before the Queen--muffins, and crumpets, and cakes.
Let me advise you to make the best use of your time, for you have but
twenty minutes,' continued his lordship, looking at his watch, 'and muffins
and crumpets don't come in your way every day.


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