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Surtees, Robert Smith, 1803-1864

"Mr. Sponge's Sporting Tour"


It is pleasant to hear a bachelor's pros and cons on the subject of
matrimony; how the difficulties of the gentleman out of love vanish or
change into advantages with the one in--'Oh, I would never think of
marrying without a couple of thousand a year at the _very least_!' exclaims
young Fastly. '_I_ can't do without four hunters and a hack. _I_ can't do
without a valet. _I_ can't do without a brougham. _I_ must belong to
half-a-dozen clubs. _I'll_ not marry any woman who can't keep me
comfortable--bachelors can live upon nothing--bachelors are welcome
everywhere--very different thing with a wife. Frightful things milliners'
bills--fifty guineas for a dress, twenty for a bonnet--ladies' maids are
the very devil--never satisfied--far worse to please than their
mistresses.' And between the whiffs of a cigar he hums the old saw--
'Needles and pins, needles and pins,
When a man marries his sorrow begins.'
Now take him on the other tack--Fast is smitten.
''Ord hang it! a married man can live on very little,' soliloquizes our
friend.


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