Some I
find in their bed snorting and sleeping, and their houses lying as clean as
a nasty dog's kennel; in one corner bones, in another egg-shells, behind
the door a heap of dust, the dishes under feet, and the cat in the
cupboard: all these sluttish tricks I do reward with blue legs, and blue
arms. I find some slovens too, as well as sluts: they pay for their
beastliness too, as well as the women-kind; for if they uncase a sloven and
not untie their points, I so pay their arms that they cannot sometimes
untie them, if they would. Those that leave foul shoes, or go into their
beds with their stockings on, I use them as I did the former, and never
leave them till they have left their beastliness.
But to the good I do no harm,
But cover them and keep them warm:
Sluts and slovens I do pinch,
And make them in their beds to winch
This is my practice, and my trade;
Many have I cleanly made."
THE TRICKS OF THE FAIRY CALLED PATCH
"About midnight do I walk, and for the tricks I play they call me Patch.
When I find a slut asleep, I smutch her face if it be clean; but if it be
dirty, I wash it in the next piss pot that I can find: the balls I use to
wash such sluts withal is a sow's pancake or a pilgrim's salve. Those that
I find with their heads nitty and scabby, for want of combing, I am their
barbers, and cut their hair as close as an ape's tail; or else clap so much
pitch on it, that they must cut it off themselves to their great shame.
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