I can bury myself and the
traces of my existence together in friendly oblivion; and thus bequeath
eternal doubt, and ever new alarm, to those who have no peace but in
pursuing me!"
In the midst of the horrors with which I was now impressed, this idea
gave me pleasure; and I hastened to the Thames to put it in instant
execution. Such was the paroxysm of my mind that my powers of vision
became partially suspended. I was no longer conscious to the feebleness
of disease, but rushed along with fervent impetuosity. I passed from
street to street without observing what direction I pursued. After
wandering I know not how long, I arrived at London Bridge. I hastened to
the stairs, and saw the river covered with vessels.
"No human being must see me," said I, "at the instant that I vanish for
ever." This thought required some consideration. A portion of time had
elapsed since my first desperate purpose. My understanding began to
return. The sight of the vessels suggested to me the idea of once more
attempting to leave my native country.
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