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Montgomery, Frances Trego, 1858-1925

"Billy Whiskers The Autobiography of a Goat"

But he only took a bunch of green wax
grapes off the hat of one of the girls and commenced to chew it,
and he would have left them alone but one of the boys who was
with them came to their rescue and tried to drive Billy away by
giving him a hard blow with a chair he had picked up. This
infuriated Billy and he gave the whole bunch of girls a butt and
then turned and went for the boy, who was holding the chair high
over his head ready to strike. Billy stuck his long horns into
the boy's chest and laid him flat on the floor in an instant.
Then he walked up on him and planted his two feet on his breast
while he lowered his head, licking the boy's face all over with
his tongue. This made the boy furious but he could do nothing as
the goat was heavy, and with his weight on his chest he thought
he would smother.
By that time the soda-fountain man had recovered his breath and
came at Billy again with his broom raised ready to strike. Billy
saw him coming and left the boy he was standing on, and ran
behind one of the tables. Then the chase began; round and round
the tables and chairs went the goat with the man after him,
upsetting everything as they went, until the store looked as if a
cyclone had struck it, with the foaming soda-water and ice-cream
running all over the floor.


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