The slave made no
answer and Cato was again at the book, but after a short interval, as
if he were in no haste or hurry, and was merely looking for his sword,
he bade the slave bring it. As there was some delay and nobody brought
it, after having read the dialogue through he again called his slaves
one by one, and raising his voice demanded his sword; and striking the
mouth of one of them with his fist he bruised his hand, being in a
great passion and calling out aloud that he was surrendered
defenceless to the enemy by his son and his slaves, till at last his
son ran in weeping with his friends, and embracing him fell to
lamentations and entreaties. But Cato rising up looked sternly and
said, "When and where have I been proved, and without knowing it, to
have lost my reason, that no one instructs me or teaches me in the
matters wherein I am judged to have determined ill, but I am hindered
from using my own reasonings and am deprived of my weapons? Why don't
you put your father in chains also, generous son, and his hands behind
his back, till Caesar shall come and find me unable even to defend
myself? For I need not a sword to kill myself, when it is in my power
to die by holding my breath for a short time and giving my head a
single blow against the wall."
LXIX. As he said this the youth went out weeping, and all the rest,
except Demetrius and Apollonides, to whom when they were left by
themselves Cato begun to speak in milder terms, and said, "I suppose
you too have resolved by force to keep alive a man of my age and to
sit here in silence and to watch him, or are you come to prove that it
is neither a shocking nor a shameful thing for Cato, when he has no
other way to save his life, to wait for mercy from his enemy? Why then
do you not speak and convince me of this and teach me a new doctrine,
that we may cast away those former opinions and reasons in which we
lived together, and being made wiser through Caesar owe him the greater
thanks for it? And yet for my part I have come to no resolve about
myself, but it is necessary that when I have resolved I have power to
do what I have determined.
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