This thought made him calmer still, made him strong, almost made him
happy. A life for a life. He would expiate his offense in God's good
time. So no danger was too big for William Dale to face; his courage
became a byword; gentlefolk and peasants alike admired and wondered.
Out of the consistent course of action came the consistency of the
thought that was governing the action. Assumption of the reality of
God as a working hypothesis led to conviction of the existence of God.
Yet strangely and unexpectedly the attempt to formalize his faith
almost shook his faith out of him again. Although throughout the
episode of his acceptance by the Baptists he seemed so stolid and
matter-of-fact, he was truly suffering storms of emotion. He fell a
prey to old illusions; that unreasoning fear returned; he was thrown
back into the state of terrified egoism which rendered lofty
impersonal meditation beyond attainment.
That evening when for the first time he went to the Baptist Chapel,
the illusion was strong upon him that every man, woman, and child in
the congregation had discovered his secret. When they all stood up to
sing, it seemed that he was naked, defenseless, utterly at their
mercy. With every word of their carefully selected hymn they were
telling him that they knew all about him.
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