And if he could
not avoid one, he would tell everybody at the inquest that it was a
plain suicide and nothing else. There would be passengers in the car
too, who would also swear to its being a suicide. And at night these
traveling cars have such powerful head-lamps that the roadway is
lighted up for a hundred yards in front of them. Even at night, they
would recognize it as suicide.
Toward dusk every evening external things became more real, and his
hold on life tightening, he suffered more acutely in each hour that
passed. Night after night he went back to Hadleigh Wood. It was the
wood of despair, the focal point of all his pain, and he was drawn to
it irresistibly through the gathering darkness.
On the second evening he found it difficult to get away. Mavis
stopped him, asked him some domestic question, and then began to talk
about a new suit of clothes for their boy. He was alive again now,
emerged from his somnambulistic state, and he gave full attention to
this matter of Billy's new serge suit; nevertheless, all at once she
apologized for troubling him, and inquired if he had anything on his
mind.
"No, Mav, of course not."
"Are you sure, Will? Do tell me if you've something worrying you.
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